We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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