I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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