so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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