what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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