No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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