D3 body, D1 cock
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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