gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
