We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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