i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
