just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
