Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize