I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
