I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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