Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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