She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
