I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
