I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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