We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
