It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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