i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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