one two three fourrrrnication!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
