I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
