But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
