i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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