i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize