had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
