Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
