They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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