Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
