can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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