Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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