The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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