I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
