good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
