You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
