you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
