Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
