you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize