I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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