just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Welp...herpes.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
