he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
