I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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