I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
