THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
