Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
