Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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