me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
