I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
