so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
