well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
