No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
