I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
