Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
