her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she pinky promised me she was 18
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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