So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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