Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
