I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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