On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
