Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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