no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
