Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
