with your own penis?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
