if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
