he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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