She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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