So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
